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Mental Load of Working Momsies

Can I just be frank? Situasi dia macam ni. As a working mom, you have the guilt of leaving your children for more than 10 hours with pengasuh. Lepas tu, rasa tak lengkap sebagai isteri bila tak boleh nak siapkan makanan untuk suami especially jika suami seorang yg rely on you bab makan-makan ni. So bila tak mampu nak uruskan semua, mulalah terbit di hujung minda kurang sedar untuk "jom resign nak".  Ini semua mom/wife guilt. I bet all the working moms got it.  Even though we know that the working period is actually our own me time (not mommy time), but the job drains us out as well.  Bila difikirkan, sama saja penatnya sebagai housewife dan working wife. Though some may say working mom doubles the job, it turns out working mom can escape from the situation and recover. Housewife lagi gila tak boleh ke mana unless you run away from home kejap to breathe some fresh air outside.  Approaching 3 years of working in the retail setting ni kan, ada beberapa option yang aku d...
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Minute Moment

 Pernah suatu ketika dahulu beberapa induvidu bertanya,  "kenapa nak jadi pharmacist?" Seingat aku, jawapannya berubah mengikut masa. Berubah mengikut keadaan jiwa dan mental ketika itu. Jauh sekali jawapan "sebab nak jadi manfaat kepada orang lain, kepada orang yang memerlukan kepakaran tetapi punyai sumber yang terhad, kepada orang yang mencari penyelesaian tatkala buntu mencari jawapan". Bermulanya karier sebagai seorang pegawai farmasi di sebuah hospital pakar major, perjalanan diteruskan sehingga berdaftar dengan LFM - masih di hospital yang sama. Belajar sebanyak mungkin, cuba selagi boleh, tolong selagi mampu. Sehinggalah tiba masanya, kontrak ditamatkan maka sukacita dimaklumkan khidmat di situ mesti diakhiri kerana tidak ditawar pelantikan tetap. Jadi suatu anjakan paradigma terus dilancar oleh ribuan pegawai farmasi muda mudi, termasuklah aku. Berbeza persekitaran, berbeza cara kerja, malah berbeza pengalaman. Tetapi, matlamat masih sama - memberi khidmat ...
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The Beginning

It has been two weeks since I left KKM to join retail setting. It is a hard start up and it won't settle fast. The last time I ever wrote is when I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy and now my baby is 6 months already. How times flies, there's tons of stories I kept to be sprinkled here like confetti since I have the thought of keeping it as memories. I keep this blog to share everything that doesn't need quick response like it will get from other social media like IG or Facebook.  Leaving comfort zone is always the hardest.  Yet for a fresh start, you need to be brave enough to begin at zero point. It won't be easy. New boss, new colleagues, new kind of working environment you never encounter, new target etc etc. I blend like oil in water, slowly adding surfactant to lower the surface tension (too much physics and chemistry there ya).  But at the moment, I am quite blessed with helpful new friends and seniors. Just ask, they won't bite. Only difference is they w...
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3rd Tri

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Hi sayang  .  I know it is a bit overwhelming inside there knowing that the space is getting smaller and you yourself are getting heavier and of course, bigger.  Entering this phase of gestation makes me deeply and easily being touched. Even a single glare, even a slight silence.  My shoulder bears a lot of feelings and burden lately, my eyes are easily filled with tears tho sometimes the event is not that much. But with you inside me, I’m truly sorry if you can sense me putting myself in a depressing mode quite frequent at the moment.  I pray that Allah will always sustain you. Keep kicking me so that I know you’re there, with me. I will always make myself strong so that I can raise you to be strong.  It is Ramadhan; the fasting month now. I’m happy when I can feel you move so much that my belly make waves tho you too are as hungry as I am. I’m so lembik , aren’t I?  With tiredness and sometimes pain, I may say that it is a bit difficult for me to fin...
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First Tri

You couldn’t tell yourself whether you’re happy or scared. Probably both at the same time. The only strength to hold on is prayers to Allah to make this journey at ease and bearable.  With husband not around, it is hard to adapt with the new body as you don’t have anybody to talk to about the queasiness, nausea and ache. But he is always there to support whenever you’re in need although virtually. ❤️  It feels better to voice out the feelings/sickness as if it let the burdens off at the moment tho the only relief is the passing time.  But this is our prayers and hopes that comes in reality to which we should never complain of.  At the moment it is figured out, I am completely speechless. This is the first time I dont have any idea about it. It crosses my mind but I can’t figure it out. This is the miracle Allah wants me to feel inside me. In order to thank him, to be grateful of mothers and to be humble with His gift.  Ya Allah.  L...
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Takkan Mungkin Sama

One man was asked by his colleagues about his feelings after being newly married. He said “I felt the same. Before and after marriage. Maybe because we’re in a LDR”  I smiled.  “I think it’s a different situation for a woman. Women feel different regarding before and after being married and it doesn’t matter if LDR or not. But LDR really can make things bitter”  A female senior colleague whom I respect, nodded. “Yes. It is definitely different. It wouldn’t be the same”  What a guy feels and what a girl feels after marriage. That is why it is famously said that guys are from Mars and women are from Venus. We think differently, act differently and of course feels differently.  Perbezaan itu bukanlah suatu benda yang buruk. Tetapi perbezaan itu perlu dihayati agar kita lebih memahami.  Bahawa apabila nikah itu menyatukan, ia bukan fusion tetapi ia cuma mixture. Bergaul tetapi tidak bercantum sehingga menjadi suatu yang sama. Maksud lainnya, perbezaan itu perlu...
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Cinta Yang Jauh

Aku terasa sedikit berbeza dari hari lainnya.  Nafasku sendu ditemani hujan tengahari. Angin dingin sekejap sekejap menyapa pipi. Bantal tersorong untuk melewati waktu yang kian sepi.  Sudah 51 hari bergelar seorang isteri.  Hikmah belum bersambut, waktu cepat terasa seperti dikejar-kejar. Terimbau masa dahulu aku seiring dengan doaku.  Temukan aku dengan jodohku. Lancarkan pertemuanku sehingga pernikahan.  Lindungi suami ku, keluargaku dan diriku.  Mudahkan urusan kami untuk menyatu, menghalalkan dua menjadi satu.  Lantas hari ini sudah 51 hari.  Doa dimakbul.  Jodoh bertemu, nikah pun mudah.   Konflik dan tribulasi dipermudah, ada saja cara mengatasi masalah. Alhamdulillah.  Lancar semuanya.  Masih mentah untuk aku simpulkan.  Masih terlalu muda untuk aku katakan.  Pernikahan bukan semuanya manis, tetapi pahitnya nikah tidak sampai memudaratkan, tidaklah sampai tak boleh ditelan.  Hadirnya nikmat berselang pert...
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